Re: World Record (That's it for the other one)


Niels P. Mayer (mayer%hplnpm@hplabs.HP.COM)
Wed, 30 Mar 88 16:11:29 PST


> What! You mean there really aren't Aligators in the
> New York sewers? (half a :-) )

no, but there are rats the size of cats.

You see, it happend like this: pet store sells a rat to unwitting customer
who thinks he's receiving a gerbil. customer uses rat as suppository. after
a few hours of extatic constipation, poots rat into toilet, flushes it.
Rat, beleiving he's a gerbil trapped in a rat's body, sublimates these
desires by overeating irradiated nouvelle cuisine cheesburgers in east
village sewer. Cat sized rat gets cancer, asks for postcards to be sent to
his deathbed, but eventually mutates into poodle out of spite. Deus ex
machina story ending finds gerbil-cum-rat-cum-cat-cum-poodle ending up in
microwave, exploding into a cloud of cat-sized-rat viroids to reinfest
NYC's teeming sewer system. Shit happens.

In the meantime, please send postcards to a little boy dying of ennui:

        Niels Mayer
        355 Webster #C
        Palo Alto, CA 94301.

Thank you for your consideration.



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